Not so Lost
by Jilene Marr
Summary: Have you ever wanted to see what the characters are really like? Well here you can flash back to see their embaressing stories, or you can watch them on the island like we have never seen before. Stayed tuned for more chapters of this hopefully funny stor
1. Welcome to the Island

(Hello everyone and welcome the first chapter of Not So Lost. I hope that the chapters will get funnier and funnier and that you can sit back and enjoy yourself. I am hoping to have a chapter on each character so stayed tuned to see you favorite. Plus, flash backs of the characters secret lives that we haven't seen before! Enjoy)

The survivors of the plane crash sat on the beach, talking to each other wondering what they were going to do. It had been several days, and even though they had been on the island, through a plane crash, their clothes seemed perfectly new upon their bodies.

Many of the survivors that now sat on the beach were, like any other plane crash, filled with sexy, hot people who just seemed to perfect to be on an island. Each of these people seemed to bring so much to this group, everyone completely different. There was the snob, the smart doctor, the bad boy, the rock star, the criminal, the fun fat guy along with the rest of the crew.

"We've been here for a long time now," said Charlie, a man who resembled a certain hobbit and was in a rock band. The rest of the group sat in a circle, each looking at each other for answers.

A man who was really hot and had a southern twang spoke, "Really? You just found that out?" He was definitely hot. Sawyer if you haven't figured it out yet.

"We're running out of food," said Kate, who of course was a poster girl for beautiful. "What do we do?"

"We hunt!" Said John Locke as he stood up he threw a knife. Instead of the knife hitting the tree it hit the dog in the leg. The dog didn't die of course; he only pulled the knife out with its mouth and continued on its way. What kind of story would this be if the dog died!

"What do we hunt then?" Asked Charlie who was obviously a bit dense and the one who asked a whole lot of questions. "We haven't seen boar in a few days."

Locke rolled his eyes, "isn't if obvious?" They all looked at him, mouth open in awe. "Haven't you noticed, the whole time that we've been on this island, nearly starving to death there has been one of us who hasn't lost a pound?" Still no one said anything and he continued. "We eat him!" Locke then pointed a finger at an unexpected Hurley.

"Me?" He said with a stubby finger pointed at himself.

All of the passengers looked at him, eyes now looking like wolves. Each of them slowly started to get up until the doctor broke his gaze and started to speak. "We can't do that! We wouldn't have a comic relief!"

"And I don't taste good anyway!" Cried Hagrid, I mean Hurley.

Jack then threw his hands out in front of Hurley, as if to stop everyone. "You can't do this!" He yelled, he then looked back at Hurley and whispered something that sounded like 'run.'

"He's right!" Yelled Kate. "We have to give him a head start! It wouldn't be fun if we didn't'!" Hurley took this as his cue and ran some place but as soon as he left Claire started to speak:

"Is he gone yet?"

Then Shannon started to speak, "Yeah. It's about time too. I was getting sick of him. He's not funny at all? Who wrote him into the script anyway?"

There was a quiet mumble of agreement and then they all broke up for the night. Sawyer went to the small hut/house thing that he made to live in. Once he went in there he took out a secret stash of cigarette butts and lit one. Before he knew it he saw a figure looking at him.

"What are you doing here?" Sawyer asked looking at the person who stood in his little door way. "Come on in then."

The person moved in.

"Like I asked before… what do you want?" Every fan girl then shuttered because he was so hot and his twang was uber cute. So then Sawyer took his shirt off just because he's hot, and I'm making him.

The figure then started to say something.

"Ah… you want some of these?" Sawyer asked as he pulled out some baby wipes.

The person nodded.

"Come closer so I can see you better," Sawyer told him and then Jin, the Chinese guy, came in. "What will you trade me for them?"

The man spoke in some foreign language that no one will ever know. "I said what will you trade me for them?" He spoke again in his secret language. "Just tell me ok? What will you trade? T-R-A-D-E. What will you-"

"I'm not deaf! I can hear you perfectly fine," he said to him. " I don't have anything to trade you with."

Sawyer smiled. "Then how about a kiss?"

The guy then shrugged his shoulders. "Ok, sound good."

"What!" Sawyer said loudly. "You're serious? You'll do that?"

"Sure," he responded.

And then he moved in for the kiss and when he was about a centimeter away Sawyer pulled back and threw the baby wipes at him. "You're a sick freak!" The man then left as Sawyer kept yelling after him. "That's right! You go away and eat a cat wile your at it!"

There was then a flash back…

(Stay tuned for more of Not So Lost. Hey, just like the show, we have to have plenty of comericals!)


	2. Sawyer and Sandy

**(Thank you for reading the start of something I hope is good. I know that these aren't that long but I thought that I could just get my 'Lost' high with it. Hope you enjoy!)**

Thanks to:

Laurenmlbc: Thanks forreviewing my many stories.

PipMerry: I know Laura that this isn't LOTR but I suppose it's just as good! Thanks for being my little school buddy!

AmericanIdiot252: Thanks for reading this and my Harry Potter story!

* * *

_Sawyer's Flashback..._

Sawyer is twenty two and he is sitting on the curb of a low lit street, smoking a cigarette. His hair shorter, and slicked back and he has a small goatee. He is looking into the dark until someone comes out from behind him and wraps their arms around him.

"Hey there sweetie," a girl says who is around the same age. She is big boned, has a some-what low voice. Her hair is long and pulled back and her eyes are dark.

Sawyer stands up and turns to face her, "Nothin' much sugar."

She smiles and they walk off down to the closest bar. Once they get in they sit down at the bar next to each other. "So, how have you been without me?" She asks, her eyes gazing at him as he looks at the bar tender and orders something.

"I've managed. You've only been gone a day," he says with a corky smile. At once she leans in and he kisses her. It is shown that each of them have strong feelings towards each other.

They spend the night talking, flirting, kissing, until the girl speaks, her name is Sandy. "Hey, I have some place I want to show you."

"Where-?" He starts but she grabs him by the arm, he throws a bill down on the counter and is dragged out of the bar. They walk down a few streets until she makes him close his eyes, and they enter a new place that he had never seen in his life. "What is this place?" He asks her.

There are men dancing around on tables, in only thongs and there are girls howling and clapping as they put bills in them. Sawyer's eyes get wide and Sandy takes him by the hand and brings him into a small room. There is only a couch in the room, along with a television.

Once they get inside Sandy kisses him dramatically and he is still confused.

"Hold on there. It's nice and all but-" He pushes her off of him but she charges back at him. "Hey! Calm down sweetie pie but-" She dosen't get off of him and with a jolt he pushes her off, instead she falls to the floor.

"OUCH!" She yells.

"Sorry. Before we do anything. I want to know what we're doing here. Here out of all places?" He was confused. "I don't like men or nothing."

She turns and faces the opposite way, her back towards him.

"What's the matter sweet heart?" He asks and she turns around.

"I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" He said. She moved close to him gave him a small kiss on the lips. "What is it?" He repeats and she takes a sigh.

"I didn't know when to tell you this but…." There was a long pause. "Sandy is more like…. Ummm…. Stevie."

He was definitely confused. "What?"

"I don't know how to tell you but, I'm a man Sawyer!" Said Sandy/Stevie with his/her hands waving in the air.

"WHAT?"

"I'm a m-a-n, man!"

"So you're real name is-?"

"Steve. And-"

He was clearly p.o.ed, "So you're a dude?"

It nodded.

"How?"

"Well, I'll be a full women in a month Sawyer… Everything will be-"  
"EWWWWW! I kissed you! And you're a man! So that makes me gay?"

"No… no it doesn't…."

"Yes it does!" He was upset. And Steve went to put his hand on Sawyers shoulder and Sawyer pushed his hand off him. "I ain't gay. And I will never be either!" He then stormed out of the room, slamming the door in a screaming Steve's face and got picked up by a taxi.

_End of Flash Back…._

Sawyer, being incredibly hot and so totally **_not _**gay sat on a log, looking out at the beach. His past was clearly the reason why he always had to be the machoest man around, be extremely hot, and avoided anything that would remotely lead him in a situation considered gay.

This was also the reason why he never found himself in a relationship with a women for a strong fear that they may indeed be a man. He sat there and looked at the sand, picked some up and threw it in the air with a grumble.

"What are you doing over there?" Asked Kate as she walked over toward him.

"Nothing much cup cake," he said. "Gotten sick of Mr. Doctor yet?"

"Can't I just come over here to see you?"

He nodded. "Oh you like the bad boys like me?"

"Yes, in fact. It's difficult for me Sawyer. You make things so hard for me," she started saying. "You're just…. So amazing. I need you. Be mine Sawyer!" Kate was now like a zombie girl and she quickly wrapped her arms around him and started to kiss him all over.

Thoughts then rushed into his head. "NO! No! Get off! Get off me!" He then pushed her off of him and ran away though the sand as fast as he could. Kate sat there, looking at his silhouette fading in the distance.

"What was that all about?" She said to herself. At that moment she got up and started to walk towards the caves. Once she was up there she started to drink the water and when her eyes rolled upon Jack she thought of something.

_Flash Back…_

(Did you enjoy? Well, if so review! I hope to bring you more! Much much much more!)


	3. Kates real Job

_(Thank you for reading and reviewing! It's looking good so far. As long as I got people who want to read it then I'll write it. Plus, it takes me a bit to come up with an idea that I think is good enough for the character. Well, I hope that you enjoy this one about Kate!)_

_Thank you to:_

AmericanIdiot252: Thanks for loving it. Thanks for your mad revewing to this story! I'm glad your reading more then one of me stories!

COLEHARLEY: Yes, well, I thought it Sawyers past was pretty sweet. It makes perfect sense though!

fawkesmulder74834: Thanks for laughing out loud. That's my goal, and I really thought I was failing with this one. I thought that my Secreat Window ones were funny and I always try to do better on each story. Thanks!

* * *

_I believe this is where we left off_

_Kate's Flash Back…_

It's dark, outside and no light what so ever spills into the room. There are men all filling into a room. They aren't poor or look grubby, on the contrary. Each of the men are wearing suits, all of fine designers and wealth. It is clear that these are men of business, the type we do not wish to mess with.

All of them walk into the room and sit down around a large table, there is a body guard behind each of them, and there is a gun at their sides. As the room fills up, there is slight talking, more like whispers, being sent across the room. Many of them were Italian.

At once there was a silence as the room was full, except one seat. Then before they knew it the door opened and in walked Kate. She was wearing a black suit, with a black pin striped fedora on her head. She sat in the biggest chair of all at the head of the table.

Each person was silent as they waited for her to sit down. Once she did, and her body guard stood behind her, she started to speak.

"I am here to welcome each of you. I would like to thank each of you on behalf of my family." Her hair was tied in a tight bun under her hat, she was clearly a lot younger then all of the men in the room.

There was some sound of agreement and then she spoke again when it was silent. "We are all here for one reason and we all know what it is." She looked over at a man who then spoke out of turn.

"I don't know what it is," he said to her, he had a smile on his face.

She rose an eyebrow, and everyone else did just so they wouldn't stick out.

"Please take this man outside of this room," she said. And a guard who was silent took him out. As soon as the door shut there was a gun shot herd. "Much better," she concluded. Then the door opened again.

The man and the guard were standing there with a large dead boar. They threw it on the table and started to cut it. "I like my boar fresh. Do you not?" She then started eating boar, because you know, boar is so easy to find and eat and what not. Kate spoke again.

"My family thanks you for getting my boar," she said to the mob man who had sat back in his seat. "Back to business. First. I do would like to say that you people should stop entering my territory. It is disrespectful and I think it a great loss for you to underestimate me. I am a women, no doubt about it, but I am just as good as a mob boss as you!"

They all looked at each other.

"More importantly though," she said calm and collectively. Then at once she stood up, the chair flying backwards, and yelled, "YOU STOLE MY SHAMPOO!"

They were silent, the guards held their guns up and she didn't care. She only continued. "AND MY BRUSH! AND MY MAKE UP!" She was clearly enraged. "And for that you will pay. BOYS!"

The door to the room opened up as a mob s.w.a.t. team came rushing in. They each knocked down a guard and a mobster. And started to drag them off. No gunfire was taken in the process though and Kate stood on the table like a loon.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!" She said, her hands clutched like an arch villain. She then thought that since she was up there she would do a super model walk. Once the last mobster was out of the room she followed them and they entered what seemed to be a gym.

"What are we doing here?" said one mobster. Another mobster shook his head in confusion.

Kate started to speak, "We all know that the game of men is not one of shooting. It is one of….." There was along pause. "Dodge ball!"

She then grabbed a Dodge ball that magically appeared and threw it at a mobster. He fell to the ground and he cried, "No one ever beats Sonny Corenthos!" The mobsters were throwing balls like pansies but Kate was flying in the air, twenty balls at once shooting at her.

Her moves came effortlessly. She took the balls off the ground, and threw them back at them. One, two, three, they were falling like bowling pins until they were all down. All of the men were in fettle positions as Kate stood in front of them with an evil laugh. "Ah, I see that I have beaten you all. I assume that you take this as a warning. If you think I was good at that, then you should see me with a gun!"

Then at once a guard got up, took his gun out and extended his arm. Before his finger even got close to the trigger, she whipped hers out and shot him in the foot. He fell to the ground in pain there was a giant, "Ooooooooooo!" From all the mobsters together.

An extremely hot man then stood up. His hair was short, blonde, spiked up, making his blue eyes stand out and he wore a leather jacket, jeans. She knew that he was Sonny Corenthoe's guard.

"Hey," he said all cool like.

Then she smiled. "Hey."

"I'm Jason Morgon."

"And you're hot," she added. Then he smiled at her and they walked out off the room, leaving the mobsters crying in the room. They all ready knew each other before this. He looked at her and they kissed romantically.

_End of Flashback… _

"Hey, Kate. How's it going?" asked Jack. She looked at him and shrugged.

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

"NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS!" She hollered at him. He said nothing and walked away, actually he ran away. She shrugged her shoulder. What would he have thought if he knew her past. And why did she think of this when she looked at Jack? It couldn't just be that the author just need a segway!

No, no, it's not that. She really cared for Jack, feelings of love and that sparked her remembrance of Jason, the man she also loved. If she told him about her past would he even believe her? It did make sense though when you thought about it. She was dangerous, knew how to use a gun, knew how to scare men, and she sure know how to make people bend at her will. It was obvious that she was a women of power here on the island, in fact she is the lead women on the show!

She got up and started to move her way back to the beach to find Jack and make him bend at her will. Like she was going to apologize for that? Kate walked down the trail until she herd something in the bushes and she looked over to see someone. "Who there?" She asked.

"Oh! It's just me!" Said Charlie as he walked out from behind the bushes.

She looked skeptical. "What were you doing?"

"Um…. I don't rightly know to be honest."

"Oh ok, I mean, it's not like you were doing drugs or anything," she said. "See you later." Kate then walked down the trail again. Leaving Charlie to stand there.

Charlie stood there watching her as she faded in the distance. He opened his hand and he did have some drugs in his hand. He smiled at it and stoked it, "my precious," he whispered under his breath.

He then sat down on a log that had fallen and he thought about how beautiful the day was and how hot Claire was. Mostly about how hot Claire was. Then he looked down at what was in his hand.

_There was a flashback… _

* * *

_Thanks for reading it! Did you enjoy it? Are you curious about Charlie? Well, just stay tuned for more of "Not So Lost!" _


	4. What about Charlie?

_(Hello there fans! It's I! The author! I have returned! I'm sorry I haven't been writting. I had started to write my own autobiography for one of my classes and tryed writing short stories as well! But, now that lost is back I have an inspiration for the show again! Have fun reading! Enjoy Jilene)_

* * *

_There was a flashback… _

Charlie was much younger, in the days of Drive Shaft. He was cute, he was funny, he was British and he was sitting on a couch watching a movie when his band partner came walking in.

"Charlie! Charlie! What _are_ you doing?" He said as he sat down next to him with his arm around his shoulder.

"I'm watching _this," _he said looking into the movie screen.

"And do you mind me asking what _this _is?" Asked the guy (he is only a guy since I, the author don't know his name).

Charlie looked perplexed and spoke after a slight pause. "I don't rightly know. It's called Lord of the Rings but to be honest I don't understand a word their talking about. One, there are men in tights, two, there are men that look like they have fallen into a wood chipper, and three, there is a midget that has a shocking resemblance to me."

"Wot?" Said the guy in reply.

"Right there! Look!" Charlie extended one finger as a red haired hobbit walked across the screen. "See! He looks like someone! Don't he!"

The guy moved in close to the screen then all of a sudden he spoke after he examined the picture. "Umm, mate I don't think it looks like anyone we know." After that Charlie shrugged his shoulders and the guy so rude fully turned the television off.

"Ok mate, we need to talk about our performance tonight."

"Right, right," Charlie nodded in agreement.

"So, we go on stage and we…."

The two guys talked a bit about their stage performance and then after a fashion of time they noticed that they were due to appear on stage. They stood up, grabbed their guitars and went to go on stage. They stood there until they were introduced and they marched out on stage.

There were hundreds of faces looking at them, many of them staring with anticipation. Charlie strummed his guitar and then the crowd roared. Then all of a sudden the drums started and they started to sing.

"You all everybody! You all everybody!" Charlie sang with his really high pitched super unnatural girly tone. Then the guy cut him off sing the chorus. And this truly truly truly pissed Charlie off a lot.

Charlie walked over to the guy and pushed him a bit with his guitar, then the next thing he knew the guy pushed him back. They kept on singing. Charlie was basically yelling into the microphone. "YOU ALL EVERYBODY!"

Then before he knew it there was a voice herd among the crowd. "YOU SUCK!" Yelled a voice and then a lawn chair went flying in the air. Everything was moving in slow motion just like everything that is full of high action packed excitement.

Charlie saw it, "Nnnnnnoooooooo!" He said super slowly but then it hit him. The chair hit him in the head! He went flying backwards and then started to fall off the stage. It seemed like the crowd was going to catch him but then, as soon as he was descending they scurried out of the way and he hit the ground.

When he woke up he was in a dumpster, and he had dippers on his face! And banana peels in his ears, and ummm….. eggs in his eyes. He had no clue what was happening to him. He thought it was best to get up and get out of the dumpster, so he did that.

Once he was out he saw a man standing in front of him. "Hello," he said to him.

"Hello," said Charlie in awe. The man was short, at least half the size of him. "Can I help you little boy?"

"I'm not a little boy. I'm a hobbit."

"A what?"

"A hobbit!"

"A midget? Is that what you said?" Charlie asked.

"I SAID I'M A HOBBIT YOU LOSER!" Charlie was silent for a second and then he spoke.

"I think I watched to much Lord of the…."

"Rings," the hobbit filled in.

"No, wasn't it The Lord of the Flies?"

"No! That was with that fat kid named Piggy and some sick little boys…"

"Oh yeah… I remember now." Charlie said rubbing his head. "Well, what can I do for you anyway?"

"No no no, it's more like what can I do for you." The hobbit answered.

"Hey, what's you name anyway. The poor author who is writing this needs to know what your name is."

"I'm Pippin. And I have come to help you with your music."

"Really?" Charlie was getting really excited and he need some help.

"Ummm… I have come to give you this." There was silence and Charlie saw what was in his hands.

"What is that?"

"Well, it's some weed. It's good I tell you. You can put it in a pipe or… what ever you want." Said Pippin and he continued. "My friends and I use this. It will help you in your performance. Believe me."

Charlie took it without another word and before he knew it the hobbit had disappeared into the dark alley way. He looked around him in a large circle, "wot the…?" He held his new gift in his hands and started to question himself. "Should I really do this? I mean, a hobbit come out after I wake up in a dumpster and tells me to do this because it is good and blah blah blah?" He paused for a second, "Okay, I'll do it." He then walked down the darkly lit alley way.

_End of Flashback…_

"Charlie? Charlie? Are you okay?" Asked Clair and she put her hand down on his shoulder. He looked up and broke out of his gaze. "Charlie are you okay?"

"Umm… Yeah… I'm fine. I was just… um…"

"Thinking?" asked Clair. She was still pregnant and she looked over her large stomach to see Charlie stroking something in his hand.

"What is that?" She asked and he quickly shoved it in his pocket.

"Nothing," he responded.

"Charlie… what was that? I saw it! It wasn't nothing!" Clair said.

"Get off my back women!" He yelled at her as he stood up and looked her face to face.

"Don't get all pissy at me! I'm the one who should be pissy! I'm the one that has been pregnant for like…. A year!"

Charlie looked ashamed, "yeah…. You're right." Clair had a smug smile on her face and Charlie lifted his hand at her, "whatever!"

He then started to walk towards the beach, he just wasn't in the _mood _to deal with her at the moment. Being pregnant would make Clair angry and sometimes he just needed his own room. But, for some reason Clair was following him down. He decided to walk faster.

"Don't walk faster Charlie! I'm fat and pregnant and…" She started to complain.

"mememememememe," he said in a nagging voice.

This is when Clair became out of control. "That is _not _supposed to be _me?" _

"That is not supposed to be me?" Charlie said in a high pitched mock voice.

"What is you're problem?"

"What is you're problem?"

"Charlie! Stop acting like a child!"

"Charlie! Stop acting like a child!"

She then caught up to him and smacked him in the face.

"Was that for?"

"You are really unbelievable. Go down to the beach! I hope you get abducted and hung!"

"Well, wouldn't that be just grand?"

"As a matter of fact it would be!" She hollered back.

Then he just shook his hand in the air and gave up. Clair put her hand across her face and frowned. Memories were coming back to her.

_Flash Back… _


End file.
